Today i am feeling many emotions after reading comments about my writing. My feelings are important for me to acknolwedge as without that they can internalise and cause pain and dysfucntion within my chakras as a way of pointing out to me, its time to listen. I felt sadness, then anger, then forgiveness, then lonlieness, then acceptance, and finally determination.
I have to not take on board what others think and their reactions, its my reactions i need to focus on. Nobody can make me feel or do anything, i can monitor and direct my reactions however. Its so easy to lay blame at the feet of others rather than take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
This too shall pass...........
I have to focus on something far more important than reacting to peoples comments, i am of service to the Universe as Shaman and healer. I have ceremonies to do this week for someone coming close to death. I cant control that but i can ask for a little more time for things to be resolved, spirit willing..... I can also be there to support a very dear friend. This is what im about, seeing the greater picture and not being stuck in something non relevant to my path forward.
Feelings i heard you today and im not getting stuck in this, as this too shall pass. As does everything in its on perfect divine timing.
I have to be responsible for what i choose, which direction at which crossroads? My heart and soul guide me and i have to follow my own wise counsel from them. If i listen to the head i will be turning around in a circle chasing my own tail like a puppy, going faster and faster, wasting lots of energy and exhausting myself with a pointless mission.
I like to think im a little wiser and sometimes i am and sometimes im not, tail chasing can be fun at the appropriate time. Not today, not at this croosroads as the sign is clearly pointing"Shamans path of service straight ahead" (leave all regrets and resentments at the signpost, only good intentions, truth and love allowed on the road to destiny and fulment of karmic actions) is a smaller sign, with wild flowers groing and entwining themsleves around it, its easily missed but to be ignored would have its own setbacks. Im lucky i read it in time. All in perfect divine timing.
And it has passed already, the moment of conflict has gone and the birds are singing, the sun is shining, and i walk with my four footed companion further on the path home.....
Sunday, 23 August 2009
Saturday, 22 August 2009
Natural Magik and the shamans path
As a child i could talk to stones and animals. I never thought this was strange, it wasnt til much later years i was percieved as not normal, bit crazy and many lovely titles such as borderline personality, autistic, ocd.. adhd.
The amazing thing is with my original gifts which im so lucky to have, i now live with balance and harmony and peace. I have a long story and im going to tell it as theres hope for everyone. I was hard core and i can walk free so can others. You have to do the work. Its not easy but once on the path its compelling to keep going as you see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter, one day i walked through that. I now dance and sing in the light. I still go back into the tunnel but without fear and sometimes i quite like the dark. But not for long and often to help others as im not scared to walk in the dark as it and its harsh lessons were my greatest teachers and where i learnt the Power and Intent to set myself free. For me you cant have light with dark, happy without sad, ying without yang and so forth. Theres always duality and opposite. It has to be. I am a roller coaster and like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead, when i am good i am very very good. But when im bad im Horrid!
Thats okay too, self acceptance is so important and when i finally did do that recently in Cusco in South America, i felt such a release , many heavy bagggages i had been carrying just dissolved away. I am my own judge and critic and i am not so harsh anymore, it dosent matter what i do as im true to myself. If i wake up and think " My life is unmanageable" I change it, as simply as that, i look at why i am feeling that, whether its a money thing or a people thing, whatever thing, i write it down and work out the next steps to change and i do them. Its sorted rapidly and i am restored to my normal well being and balance. If i give you the tools which i will do some,remember theres no point having them if you dont use them. I learned to become detached to what people do as its not my concern i can only suggest. The story you write is for you, and you fill your own blank pages. I follow my own path of heart, difficult and challenging tho it is, i am excited to see where it takes me and i follow with joy. I am so grateful to be on the path and i see some wonderful souls walk alongside me for a while, some stay some go and there's always new ones. being open to this beauty is something i have to focus on. Its easy to get distracted in the society we live in and to lose focus, when i feel dis connected i am sad and its my wake up call to return to path of happiness and direction. We learn to read our signs and body language and remember the things we are guided away from, such as intuition and gut feelings. These i follow first, i put aside the silly monkey chatter of society and follow the omens, my magpies and crows, roses, colour purple, and rainbow signs, my intuition i trust and have faith in my omens. Not obsessively because we can become too attached to even good ways. There are healthy obsessions i have with diet and food, i only eat sushi and certain colours or food beginning with certain letters on some days. However this way of being and self acceptance brought me to letting go of bulima which had stuck with me for over 30 years. I listened to my body which knew best. I am not saying if you have a compulsion not to eat i.e becoming anorexic you listen to a message not to eat this is something different and you have to be careful who and what you listen to. I have voices that tell me to lots of things not beneficial to my well being. I know that's not my intuition but my darker side trying to draw me back, self sabotage, low self esteem and a few other choice personas i know oh so well and have to watch when they rear their ugly heads. Then i have to act quickly or they're out for the day and im gone on a mission of possible self harm or abuse. Like i say i know these ones and when they do dare pop up, they now get squashed rapidy. I can never be complacent as i am aware that they come in different disguises, with my practises and determination and strict regimes i win the day. Today. One day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today, the present, is a gift. For this gift i am grateful and give thanks and blessings.
The amazing thing is with my original gifts which im so lucky to have, i now live with balance and harmony and peace. I have a long story and im going to tell it as theres hope for everyone. I was hard core and i can walk free so can others. You have to do the work. Its not easy but once on the path its compelling to keep going as you see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter, one day i walked through that. I now dance and sing in the light. I still go back into the tunnel but without fear and sometimes i quite like the dark. But not for long and often to help others as im not scared to walk in the dark as it and its harsh lessons were my greatest teachers and where i learnt the Power and Intent to set myself free. For me you cant have light with dark, happy without sad, ying without yang and so forth. Theres always duality and opposite. It has to be. I am a roller coaster and like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead, when i am good i am very very good. But when im bad im Horrid!
Thats okay too, self acceptance is so important and when i finally did do that recently in Cusco in South America, i felt such a release , many heavy bagggages i had been carrying just dissolved away. I am my own judge and critic and i am not so harsh anymore, it dosent matter what i do as im true to myself. If i wake up and think " My life is unmanageable" I change it, as simply as that, i look at why i am feeling that, whether its a money thing or a people thing, whatever thing, i write it down and work out the next steps to change and i do them. Its sorted rapidly and i am restored to my normal well being and balance. If i give you the tools which i will do some,remember theres no point having them if you dont use them. I learned to become detached to what people do as its not my concern i can only suggest. The story you write is for you, and you fill your own blank pages. I follow my own path of heart, difficult and challenging tho it is, i am excited to see where it takes me and i follow with joy. I am so grateful to be on the path and i see some wonderful souls walk alongside me for a while, some stay some go and there's always new ones. being open to this beauty is something i have to focus on. Its easy to get distracted in the society we live in and to lose focus, when i feel dis connected i am sad and its my wake up call to return to path of happiness and direction. We learn to read our signs and body language and remember the things we are guided away from, such as intuition and gut feelings. These i follow first, i put aside the silly monkey chatter of society and follow the omens, my magpies and crows, roses, colour purple, and rainbow signs, my intuition i trust and have faith in my omens. Not obsessively because we can become too attached to even good ways. There are healthy obsessions i have with diet and food, i only eat sushi and certain colours or food beginning with certain letters on some days. However this way of being and self acceptance brought me to letting go of bulima which had stuck with me for over 30 years. I listened to my body which knew best. I am not saying if you have a compulsion not to eat i.e becoming anorexic you listen to a message not to eat this is something different and you have to be careful who and what you listen to. I have voices that tell me to lots of things not beneficial to my well being. I know that's not my intuition but my darker side trying to draw me back, self sabotage, low self esteem and a few other choice personas i know oh so well and have to watch when they rear their ugly heads. Then i have to act quickly or they're out for the day and im gone on a mission of possible self harm or abuse. Like i say i know these ones and when they do dare pop up, they now get squashed rapidy. I can never be complacent as i am aware that they come in different disguises, with my practises and determination and strict regimes i win the day. Today. One day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today, the present, is a gift. For this gift i am grateful and give thanks and blessings.
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