I cant quite believe how i am here about to embark on the most heartbreaking trip of my life.
I am. So i must walk forward like the animal warrioress i just got called.( thanks Tiff i love that!)
Next month im going to Romania to see where my puppy was born, well, the field and the bush he was found under. I have the photos. Then i go to see my friend Ank, she became my friend when she walked into a public shelter on my behalf and walked out with a mum and her daughter in her arms. Tara and Nusta.. now Tess. They are here and happily homed.
Thats how it started with a photo of a female dog with dead eyes. She was giving up and the two pups who had vitality and life and death waiting to take that. It broke my heart. The other girls wouldnt help me. Ank was the only one and she went and brought them out riddled with ticks and lice, in her arms. The other pup had died and only little Nusta survived.
That was the beginning. Now Ank has a shelter where around 90 dogs are and im in tears again.. my two favourite puppies, Pip and Squeek have just got sick with distemper. They are at Anks house and on the best meds possible. I hope and pray they make it.. we saved Lady their mum from public shelter and death row, she had 3 pups then, one died and these gorgeous two are left. They came from hell, filth, disease and death. Please dont take them now! Let them find life and a home and be part of a family
Tears
I know them so well on this road to save lives.
Tears fall.
How does she face daily the deaths of pups and dogs?
Im going to see for myself. We are going to write about the characters and the happiness as well as the sadness and heartbreak. Tears are wiped away and there is much happiness and joy too. When a dog has found a home and is going to be part of a family! damn! there's those tears again LOL but with a glow within and a happy heart.. so its all good. Sometimes. We will work for those special moments and keep going strong through the other times. Someone has to and now it seems to be me too.
We are asking for donations, second hand collars, wormers/deflea treatments. Food, anything they can use. The first wonderful company is viovet.co.uk
On Monday i have two boxes of an incredibly kind donation of food and other pet products. So grateful to them and their kindness. Thank you Viovet!
Saturday, 12 July 2014
Monday, 15 August 2011
Onwards and upwards
Chemo hurts
LOL
More order in the chaos, second helping...:))) More please sir!
Its funny how when all falls apart in my life i am reborn, stronger than before.
Onwards and upwards.
Im starting to truly live and be happy and pretty balanced. Amazing for a borderline roller coaster:)
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Upto date on the path
The path of heart
Hard path and its covered in brambles that tear and trip and cause.
I choose to see the fruit tho and eat that, thorns..blood.. ripped clothes, pah! All to be expected:) When you dont see the thorns as a threat, they dont hurt you, see the fruit and the nourishement, see the beauty... walk in Beauty. This is an Andean concept, to walk with the direction of the West and the Puma, the medicine teachings and to walk gently on the face of the earth, being responsible for where and how you put your feet rather than heavily stamping down with no regard for the life underfoot.
Walk in Beauty
Today i am going to tread softly....
Hard path and its covered in brambles that tear and trip and cause.
I choose to see the fruit tho and eat that, thorns..blood.. ripped clothes, pah! All to be expected:) When you dont see the thorns as a threat, they dont hurt you, see the fruit and the nourishement, see the beauty... walk in Beauty. This is an Andean concept, to walk with the direction of the West and the Puma, the medicine teachings and to walk gently on the face of the earth, being responsible for where and how you put your feet rather than heavily stamping down with no regard for the life underfoot.
Walk in Beauty
Today i am going to tread softly....
Sunday, 23 August 2009
This too shall pass, obstacles met on the journey.
Today i am feeling many emotions after reading comments about my writing. My feelings are important for me to acknolwedge as without that they can internalise and cause pain and dysfucntion within my chakras as a way of pointing out to me, its time to listen. I felt sadness, then anger, then forgiveness, then lonlieness, then acceptance, and finally determination.
I have to not take on board what others think and their reactions, its my reactions i need to focus on. Nobody can make me feel or do anything, i can monitor and direct my reactions however. Its so easy to lay blame at the feet of others rather than take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
This too shall pass...........
I have to focus on something far more important than reacting to peoples comments, i am of service to the Universe as Shaman and healer. I have ceremonies to do this week for someone coming close to death. I cant control that but i can ask for a little more time for things to be resolved, spirit willing..... I can also be there to support a very dear friend. This is what im about, seeing the greater picture and not being stuck in something non relevant to my path forward.
Feelings i heard you today and im not getting stuck in this, as this too shall pass. As does everything in its on perfect divine timing.
I have to be responsible for what i choose, which direction at which crossroads? My heart and soul guide me and i have to follow my own wise counsel from them. If i listen to the head i will be turning around in a circle chasing my own tail like a puppy, going faster and faster, wasting lots of energy and exhausting myself with a pointless mission.
I like to think im a little wiser and sometimes i am and sometimes im not, tail chasing can be fun at the appropriate time. Not today, not at this croosroads as the sign is clearly pointing"Shamans path of service straight ahead" (leave all regrets and resentments at the signpost, only good intentions, truth and love allowed on the road to destiny and fulment of karmic actions) is a smaller sign, with wild flowers groing and entwining themsleves around it, its easily missed but to be ignored would have its own setbacks. Im lucky i read it in time. All in perfect divine timing.
And it has passed already, the moment of conflict has gone and the birds are singing, the sun is shining, and i walk with my four footed companion further on the path home.....
I have to not take on board what others think and their reactions, its my reactions i need to focus on. Nobody can make me feel or do anything, i can monitor and direct my reactions however. Its so easy to lay blame at the feet of others rather than take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
This too shall pass...........
I have to focus on something far more important than reacting to peoples comments, i am of service to the Universe as Shaman and healer. I have ceremonies to do this week for someone coming close to death. I cant control that but i can ask for a little more time for things to be resolved, spirit willing..... I can also be there to support a very dear friend. This is what im about, seeing the greater picture and not being stuck in something non relevant to my path forward.
Feelings i heard you today and im not getting stuck in this, as this too shall pass. As does everything in its on perfect divine timing.
I have to be responsible for what i choose, which direction at which crossroads? My heart and soul guide me and i have to follow my own wise counsel from them. If i listen to the head i will be turning around in a circle chasing my own tail like a puppy, going faster and faster, wasting lots of energy and exhausting myself with a pointless mission.
I like to think im a little wiser and sometimes i am and sometimes im not, tail chasing can be fun at the appropriate time. Not today, not at this croosroads as the sign is clearly pointing"Shamans path of service straight ahead" (leave all regrets and resentments at the signpost, only good intentions, truth and love allowed on the road to destiny and fulment of karmic actions) is a smaller sign, with wild flowers groing and entwining themsleves around it, its easily missed but to be ignored would have its own setbacks. Im lucky i read it in time. All in perfect divine timing.
And it has passed already, the moment of conflict has gone and the birds are singing, the sun is shining, and i walk with my four footed companion further on the path home.....
Saturday, 22 August 2009
Natural Magik and the shamans path
As a child i could talk to stones and animals. I never thought this was strange, it wasnt til much later years i was percieved as not normal, bit crazy and many lovely titles such as borderline personality, autistic, ocd.. adhd.
The amazing thing is with my original gifts which im so lucky to have, i now live with balance and harmony and peace. I have a long story and im going to tell it as theres hope for everyone. I was hard core and i can walk free so can others. You have to do the work. Its not easy but once on the path its compelling to keep going as you see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter, one day i walked through that. I now dance and sing in the light. I still go back into the tunnel but without fear and sometimes i quite like the dark. But not for long and often to help others as im not scared to walk in the dark as it and its harsh lessons were my greatest teachers and where i learnt the Power and Intent to set myself free. For me you cant have light with dark, happy without sad, ying without yang and so forth. Theres always duality and opposite. It has to be. I am a roller coaster and like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead, when i am good i am very very good. But when im bad im Horrid!
Thats okay too, self acceptance is so important and when i finally did do that recently in Cusco in South America, i felt such a release , many heavy bagggages i had been carrying just dissolved away. I am my own judge and critic and i am not so harsh anymore, it dosent matter what i do as im true to myself. If i wake up and think " My life is unmanageable" I change it, as simply as that, i look at why i am feeling that, whether its a money thing or a people thing, whatever thing, i write it down and work out the next steps to change and i do them. Its sorted rapidly and i am restored to my normal well being and balance. If i give you the tools which i will do some,remember theres no point having them if you dont use them. I learned to become detached to what people do as its not my concern i can only suggest. The story you write is for you, and you fill your own blank pages. I follow my own path of heart, difficult and challenging tho it is, i am excited to see where it takes me and i follow with joy. I am so grateful to be on the path and i see some wonderful souls walk alongside me for a while, some stay some go and there's always new ones. being open to this beauty is something i have to focus on. Its easy to get distracted in the society we live in and to lose focus, when i feel dis connected i am sad and its my wake up call to return to path of happiness and direction. We learn to read our signs and body language and remember the things we are guided away from, such as intuition and gut feelings. These i follow first, i put aside the silly monkey chatter of society and follow the omens, my magpies and crows, roses, colour purple, and rainbow signs, my intuition i trust and have faith in my omens. Not obsessively because we can become too attached to even good ways. There are healthy obsessions i have with diet and food, i only eat sushi and certain colours or food beginning with certain letters on some days. However this way of being and self acceptance brought me to letting go of bulima which had stuck with me for over 30 years. I listened to my body which knew best. I am not saying if you have a compulsion not to eat i.e becoming anorexic you listen to a message not to eat this is something different and you have to be careful who and what you listen to. I have voices that tell me to lots of things not beneficial to my well being. I know that's not my intuition but my darker side trying to draw me back, self sabotage, low self esteem and a few other choice personas i know oh so well and have to watch when they rear their ugly heads. Then i have to act quickly or they're out for the day and im gone on a mission of possible self harm or abuse. Like i say i know these ones and when they do dare pop up, they now get squashed rapidy. I can never be complacent as i am aware that they come in different disguises, with my practises and determination and strict regimes i win the day. Today. One day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today, the present, is a gift. For this gift i am grateful and give thanks and blessings.
The amazing thing is with my original gifts which im so lucky to have, i now live with balance and harmony and peace. I have a long story and im going to tell it as theres hope for everyone. I was hard core and i can walk free so can others. You have to do the work. Its not easy but once on the path its compelling to keep going as you see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter, one day i walked through that. I now dance and sing in the light. I still go back into the tunnel but without fear and sometimes i quite like the dark. But not for long and often to help others as im not scared to walk in the dark as it and its harsh lessons were my greatest teachers and where i learnt the Power and Intent to set myself free. For me you cant have light with dark, happy without sad, ying without yang and so forth. Theres always duality and opposite. It has to be. I am a roller coaster and like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead, when i am good i am very very good. But when im bad im Horrid!
Thats okay too, self acceptance is so important and when i finally did do that recently in Cusco in South America, i felt such a release , many heavy bagggages i had been carrying just dissolved away. I am my own judge and critic and i am not so harsh anymore, it dosent matter what i do as im true to myself. If i wake up and think " My life is unmanageable" I change it, as simply as that, i look at why i am feeling that, whether its a money thing or a people thing, whatever thing, i write it down and work out the next steps to change and i do them. Its sorted rapidly and i am restored to my normal well being and balance. If i give you the tools which i will do some,remember theres no point having them if you dont use them. I learned to become detached to what people do as its not my concern i can only suggest. The story you write is for you, and you fill your own blank pages. I follow my own path of heart, difficult and challenging tho it is, i am excited to see where it takes me and i follow with joy. I am so grateful to be on the path and i see some wonderful souls walk alongside me for a while, some stay some go and there's always new ones. being open to this beauty is something i have to focus on. Its easy to get distracted in the society we live in and to lose focus, when i feel dis connected i am sad and its my wake up call to return to path of happiness and direction. We learn to read our signs and body language and remember the things we are guided away from, such as intuition and gut feelings. These i follow first, i put aside the silly monkey chatter of society and follow the omens, my magpies and crows, roses, colour purple, and rainbow signs, my intuition i trust and have faith in my omens. Not obsessively because we can become too attached to even good ways. There are healthy obsessions i have with diet and food, i only eat sushi and certain colours or food beginning with certain letters on some days. However this way of being and self acceptance brought me to letting go of bulima which had stuck with me for over 30 years. I listened to my body which knew best. I am not saying if you have a compulsion not to eat i.e becoming anorexic you listen to a message not to eat this is something different and you have to be careful who and what you listen to. I have voices that tell me to lots of things not beneficial to my well being. I know that's not my intuition but my darker side trying to draw me back, self sabotage, low self esteem and a few other choice personas i know oh so well and have to watch when they rear their ugly heads. Then i have to act quickly or they're out for the day and im gone on a mission of possible self harm or abuse. Like i say i know these ones and when they do dare pop up, they now get squashed rapidy. I can never be complacent as i am aware that they come in different disguises, with my practises and determination and strict regimes i win the day. Today. One day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today, the present, is a gift. For this gift i am grateful and give thanks and blessings.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
